Champions Mindset

Xerxes, thank you very much for having me. It's an honor to be on your podcast.

My name is Dieter Kalt, and I have been an athlete all my life. I'm 47 years old now, I'm a father of four kids, and I used to be a little boy with a big dream. My dream was becoming a professional hockey player, and becoming the best player in the world.

So that was the start. I come from a sports background in my family. My dad used to be a hockey player, then he used to be a manager, and then he was the president of the Austrian Ice Hockey Federation for many years. So he was my partner through my whole career. I learned from him, he was my role model, and I got to view both sides of the coin from early on.

I had a normal youth. I was growing up chasing my dreams. Obviously I was going to school, and I was doing several sports: I was playing soccer, I was skiing. Growing up in the southern part of Austria, winters were cold and the lakes were frozen, so I was playing hockey all the time.

I was not the biggest guy. I was not the guy with the hardest shot. But I had this determination to win and to get better every day, this kind of mindset. And obviously that was something I learned from my dad and my peers, from the club that I played for, from my coaches and mentors.

So I finally got the chance to turn pro when I was still in school. I was 16 years old, starting to play with the older ones. And again, I had those role models who were pushing and pushing and pushing. I had this huge goal of becoming the best, but I didn't know what it meant really at that time. That was kind of the light at the end of the tunnel, the beacon. So that gave me direction.

I kept working and working and working, and one day I had the chance to become pro. Then I wanted to take the next step. I wanted to get better. What can I do next? Where can I go next? So I started playing for the Austrian national team, and that's when my whole career really started: to be able to present yourself on an international stage, to represent your own country, where the sign on the chest is much more important than what is standing on the back of your jersey.

I really felt at home in that kind of environment, competing against the best in the world. That was unbelievable for me. And I actually got that feeling: you know what, I'm not that far away. If I push a little bit harder, if I try a little more, give me a little bit more time, I can grow. The confidence started growing, and I took it step by step. I started playing in Germany, I played in the US, I played in Sweden for a couple of years, and then a couple of stages in Austria. I became captain of the national team and competed in 17 world championships throughout my career, and three Olympic Games.

At the end of my career, when I had my first gig on stage, talking about the champions mindset, what it takes to be successful and what I learned in my career, I had to call a guy and ask him for my stats. I had no clue. Obviously I played for 22 years professionally, so it was quite a long time, but I was never good with statistics. So I asked the guy: hey, what were the teams? I knew the teams that I played on, but how did we end up, what were the years? I mixed everything up.

So there was a sheet of statistics at the end that he came up with. He was laughing at me, and I was looking at it, and I'm like: well, not too bad after all. I didn't even realize it. I still felt, some days, I'm so bad, I'm so bad, I can be so much better. But on paper, everything looked really good.

So I started thinking: what did it really take to get there? Because not everything was planned. As an athlete, you plan the practice, and you plan the weeks and the months and what kind of goals you want to reach. Everything is planned that way. But the big goal always seemed so far away.

[I realized] pretty early on that it's not really about the goal at the end. It's what happens in between. You hear that so many times. "Der Weg ist das Ziel" in German: it's about the path, and not the goal.

And [I learned that] by not being able to overcome many of the big obstacles that were standing in my way, because not everything went my way. Throughout my career, for some years everything went smooth and the career went like this. But then I started to hit some rocks, some injuries, and some things didn't go my way. Obviously there was big competition, and there were a lot of great players looking for jobs.

I was trying to fight hard against every obstacle. You know: I'm strong enough, I can go through the wall, in my head. But only when I started to realize, and I don't know how I came upon that, that I cannot fight against it, that I had to let it go, kind of accept it and let it go, like water running around an obstacle that takes a different path, I ended up in better situations afterwards, every time.

By feeling something really negative, like being really down and thinking: oh my, I screwed up my career now. Bad move, bad decisions, I'm not good enough, whatever. I ended up in better situations because I kept working. I always had to fall back on: okay, what can I influence? What can I influence? Take away everything that comes upon me, the pressure and the things I cannot influence. What's my basis? And that was always the mental attitude, the mindset, and what kind of work I put on the table. What can I influence?

Every time I took this step and focused on that and let go, I actually ended up in better spots. And once I realized that, and I was lucky to realize it in my mid twenties, so I had a long career still going on, I made a system out of it. Because I lost my way many, many times, but I figured out how to get out of holes quicker, because I knew that feeling. Okay, it's okay. It's okay to screw up. It's okay not to be able to reach that one goal. Maybe that's a sign. Maybe I go a different direction and see where it takes me.

So I've been studying this. And once I ended my career, I felt so grateful for that kind of life, because everything I did in life so far was because of passion. It was not easy. It was not fun all the time, but it was always passionate. It was never a job, it was a lifestyle. That's me: I'm an athlete. I am competing, I want to win, I want to be on a team, I want to help others.

I know how I can take care of myself. So what can I do next to help others succeed? Because I realized that by helping others, I get more successful myself. There was a time when I became that leader, that captain of teams, for example, and it was not about me anymore. So it was kind of a progression.

Once I stopped playing, obviously I had to think about what's going to happen next. It's not something that you plan as an athlete. Many athletes do not like to think about life after sports. I had some discussions in my own podcast with professional athletes, and they said: I'm really aware of this, obviously, but I cannot let that thought creep into my head, because it's going to take away a little bit of my focus on what I have to do to be great.

But then the day comes, and suddenly reality hits. And then you have to really know yourself. Who am I? What identifies me? Is it just the athlete with the helmet on, or with the soccer shoes on, or whatever sport it is? Or who's the person behind it?

I had to go through that process myself too. Thankfully, I was prepared for that. It feels good if people pat you on your back: oh, here's the great Dieter, the best. It feels good. There's the other side of the coin too: if you lose, nobody likes you. But if you put it in the right perspective, and you don't get all your self-confidence from appreciation from other people, but from your family, from your best friends and from yourself, and you look in the mirror and say: I did good. It's good, what you do, even though it's not perfect. That kind of prepared me for what was going to happen later.

I met so many people throughout my career, of all ages, and like I said before, I was not the most talented guy. I saw so many guys fail. I saw so many guys disappointed or frustrated, not knowing what to do and feeling worse. And I said: there was a way how I did it, and I learned it from others. I tried to put different things together that started working for me over time. I'd really like to pass this on.

That's my mission right now. On one side, I help young people who are trying to reach their potential but don't know how. There's so much energy, if you talk to young people right now. They're the ones who are going to save the world sooner or later, right? But which way to go? You can have the best ship and the best captain, but if you don't know where to go, you need those little hacks and those little guardian angels, those mentors. Sometimes you need a kick in the butt. Sometimes you need somebody to pull you, or just to be there for you.

So I want to be that guy for the next generation. It fills me with joy, with the people I've worked with so far. That's something that I wish for myself: to be a good mentor for my kids. Like I said, I have four kids, and I want to be a good role model for them. There's so much need, and there's so much I want to give.

So coming from that perspective: it's up to me to take my life into my own hands, to be prepared for that one moment. That's the thing in sports, right? That one moment, that one free kick or that one penalty shot. That one moment that can make or break a career or a season. I always wanted to be that guy.

How did I prepare? Practice, practice, practice. Failing, failing, failing, using that famous word failure. I'm laughing about this, because that's the only way to get better: to do something too fast, too hard, or not hard enough. Then you have to try again, and you have to think about technique. Am I prepared? What can I do? How can I reach it? So that's a normal thing.

But then I said: if I prepare as well as I can, I'm able to improvise in that moment. I want to take it with both hands, and if I fail, that's fine. Then I find a way to do it better next time. But it's that feeling that I tried to do it. I didn't hide. And that's something that you can practice. So I want to give that to [others].

I have been a manager after my professional career. I did a three-year education to be a professional coach. In Austria, the A license takes three years. I did that beside my job when I was still playing professional hockey, so I could transfer my knowledge better. I was working as a coach with some of the national teams, the junior national teams and the pro national team in Austria. I was responsible for developing a youth program in a professional hockey team in Austria, in my hometown, where I came from. And then I got the chance to work as a sports director, being responsible for the pro teams and the youth.

So I went through all the different positions of leadership, so to speak, and obviously had a different role. I was not the guy on the ice anymore. I was the guy trying to build that environment for other people to succeed. Again, I needed everybody else to be good, to be able to succeed myself.

The only problem was: as a coach, for example, you're standing on the sideline, you're watching people, and you cannot influence that second. Somebody makes the decision on the field. The only thing you can do is prepare those people as well as you can, so they can make their own decisions in that kind of environment. That's good for everybody, but you cannot do it yourself, and sometimes it's frustrating. So I was looking at leadership from a different perspective, from up there, being responsible at the end.

And that's what I do with entrepreneurs, with business leaders who come to me and say: I need that look from the outside. I know what I'm doing in my profession, but I'm not a great leader yet. I need a kind of culture change, because I understand that if we want to be better, we have to come together as a group. Everybody has to be in the right role. There has to be chemistry, there has to be energy, there has to be responsibility and ownership. Help me bring this to our company.

That's where I come in, and I really like doing that. Because that's [like] working in a sports leadership team, where there are different opinions on the table and you discuss and you fight sometimes. One guy has to make a decision at the end, then they go out and they speak with one voice. That's what happens in winning organizations, and that's what I try to bring to business, for example.

So that was a long story, but that's exactly what I do. I'm trying to tell my story and trying to inspire people. I try to make people follow me on different channels, to see me fail and to see me suck at different things all the time. I'm trying to get better, one day at a time.

You know what, sometimes when I speak about this, I don't want to brag or anything. I don't like to speak so much about myself, like: look at me, I'm a great champion, I won so much. But as a matter of fact: do the little things right, and good things happen. That's just what happened in my career, as a side product.

Like I said, it was 22 years in professional team sports, and I had the honor to play in 17 finals in 22 years. We lost a couple of them, but nine of them we ended up winning, carrying the trophy around in the city, breaking championship trophies and stuff like this. So I was really fortunate.

I started to build this self-talk, this attitude and this mindset that success is not a matter of if it's going to happen, only when it's going to happen, because of the standard that everybody involved in those teams that I played for put up for themselves, as individuals and also as a team. And that just makes it so much fun, if you work with people who always want to get better. Of course it doesn't work every day. You always have those bad days.

But what I've found from working with and watching the best in the world in what they did: they did the simplest things, over and over and over and over. It was kind of an eye opener for me, because I grew up [thinking] that you have to do the extraordinary all the time, the highlight thing all the time, to be really good, to be a champion. Whereas I found out it was always the little things.

The things that even the 10-year-olds get bored practicing: oh, coach, not again, this. Well, look at what the best of the best are practicing: the same, but in the highest form of perfection. It's the little, little things, the basic things, and it makes so much sense. It made so much sense for me, and it made it so much fun to work with those kinds of people. Because it's the bad days where you have to show up and bring your best. Your basic, really your lowest level, is higher than the highest level of some others.

So that's how I look at it from a competition standpoint. And that's what I bring to people outside of sports too: how I experienced being a champion. It didn't mean winning over everything, that you have to use your elbows, you have to kill the opponents, that real strength means dominating and breaking other people or other teams. It's not the truth.

The level of respect among competitors in our sport, and I can only talk from my perspective, was immensely high. Obviously you wanted to win, and you did everything you could do to win, but always for the right reasons, never without respect, without being fair. You want to win, right? But not winning at all costs, and always being humble and staying on the ground.

I learned that especially in Scandinavia. That was unbelievable: the greatest champions, the best of the best, how they conducted themselves as humans in groups. How they stepped back, how they put things into perspective as human beings: I'm just the guy who tries to be a good father and a good friend, a good teammate. But then you step into your profession, and you want to be the best of the best, and you do everything to learn and to get better. I really admire it if you combine those two things.

That's obviously also what some businesses manage, the winners, usually the best in the world. They only take people [who] qualify, well, that's the qualification: we need you to be able to work with us. But you have to bring this to the table, the soft factors. What kind of personality are you, my friend? Can I trust you? Can I rely on you when it gets difficult? Do you show up for me when I need you? Those are the qualities.

And so many people think it doesn't fit together. Even in my profession, they used to, not laugh at me, that's the wrong expression. I was too good for them to laugh in my face. Maybe they were mumbling behind my back, but that's how I saw it: being a good human being, a fair guy, being a nice guy, being a friendly guy. You can be tough as nails, and you can be a fierce competitor, and still live by these values. It fits together perfectly, like a custom-made leather glove over your hand.

That's what I stand for, and in my opinion that's the reason some organizations are winning more than others.

And blaming: that's something we might want to change. Every word that's pointing fingers: it's not my fault, it's their fault. It's always waiting for somebody else to take care of things, right?

Well, about what you were saying before I answer this question: I made so many mistakes in my life, in my career as a player, as a person.

Taking this kind of responsibility, stepping in front of the camera and talking about failure after you lost, for example, was something that came with being in that position as a captain, as a leader. Usually the leader steps in front when things go bad. It doesn't matter if it's his fault or not. He protects the weak links. So the person doing that has to have this kind of strength.

I didn't have that strength all the time. I learned it through practicing that: putting my face in that camera, and screwing up interviews, for example, and saying stupid things. I did that too.

I made a big mistake as a captain when I was really, really disappointed after a world championship in Austria, for example. We played three world championships in Austria throughout my career: two in the highest level, in the A pool, and one in the B pool, where we went up again to the highest division. Obviously winning was fun. But when we went down, when we lost at home, I felt we didn't get the support from the crowd throughout the tournament. Playing in Austria and getting booed when you lose is something that hurt all the players really bad.

I was really frustrated, and I let that frustration out a little bit. In one interview, I said I was really disappointed about not getting the support from the crowd. Obviously that was a big mistake, saying that. There are different perspectives on everything, and from my perspective in that situation I was really hurt, but I wasn't a good leader that way, and I got a lot of criticism for that.

I told myself: I'm never going to make that mistake again, acting out of pure emotion without taking that time. If I'm too emotional, I don't give an answer, or I say: let's talk about it tomorrow. It's a lot better from a leadership perspective, or from the perspective of making an important decision. So I failed in that regard many times.

That's the introduction to the answer to your question about failure. I mean, who likes to fail, right? It's so much more fun winning than failing. If I could choose, I would choose winning over failing every time.

But from what I know, I don't think it's enough to read a line or a quote: fail fast, fail forward, and this kind of stuff. It's something that you have to feel, for me. I made this a habit: getting a feel for something and attaching some kind of emotion to it, and analyzing what kind of effort I put in. What did I do in order to succeed, and what didn't I do? Because that was the result, it was kind of a failure. What could I influence? What was I not able to influence?

And trying it anyway, even if I'm insecure: I'm not ready, I'm not ready. I don't know. Should I do it? What can I lose if I do it? Do I look stupid? What will the other people think? What will my family think? What will my friends think? What will the people think that I don't even know, but whose opinion so many times seems so important?

I tried to actively fight against those kinds of feelings and do it anyway, when it was something I felt strongly about: I need to do this, I need to do this. What happens by forcing myself to fail, or to put myself into that position? Obviously I did fail many times. But one really important thing happened, and I learned it through my years, so I can speak about it now: many times you find out that what you thought would be so ugly or so painful, if it happens, oh my God, it's not that bad after all. So what was I worried about in the first place? Then you find a way to get better, and then you can make a system out of it. So go practice, go practice.

And coming from a tactical standpoint with failure, for example, and with fears: many times people fail, and failing also means not trying. Trying stuff and not succeeding, that's learning really. But not trying stuff, that's the biggest failure for me: not being able to get over that first hurdle because of whatever excuse you can [find].

[What I learned] is that once you start practicing, uncomfortable things probably stay uncomfortable all your life. I hate cold showers, for example. I hate it. I don't like it, even though my name is Kalt, cold in English. I'm freezing all the time. But if there's only cold water, and I want to get clean, I have to use the shower. So I'm going to get used to it. I'm raising my pain resistance level. It's still uncomfortable, but on this level and not on this level anymore.

Or the fear of public speaking, for example, speaking in front of a group, or the kind of podcast that we're doing. You know that better than I do: one of the top three fears of people all over the world is the fear of public speaking. Think about it. Okay, some people are born with the natural ability to speak, but still you have to learn that kind of art. There are a lot of things to learn about it. Some people are great when they're talking to themselves, but then suddenly they stand somewhere, and the knees are shaking, cold sweat, whatever.

But if I know, from a competitive standpoint, that seven out of 10 or nine out of 10 people would not like to stand on stage where I am right now, or have this microphone in my hand: well, what kind of advantage would that give me, if I were that one person who gets better? You don't have to be perfect, but practice that.

That's how I see attacking your fears: the fears that give you an edge. For example, you really want to get better, you need it as a skill in your profession, where you want to go, you're going to need that. I don't think people ask the right questions: what do I have to bring to the table in order to reach my goals? If that's still something that you don't like, you'd better get practicing, buddy. Otherwise, life is not fair. Life is competition sometimes. So I see it from that standpoint too.

So embracing this kind of failure is not fun, but you can develop a great system of taking little steps and getting comfortable with it. That's what I had to do in sports.

Obviously that was a little easier for me, being embedded in a team. That's the great thing about a team: there are different roles, and sometimes one person is really good and hot and in the flow, and the other person is struggling. The team can take care of one or two in the pack, if they're not great at that time. And then it shifts again, the energy shifts, and then there are maybe those flow moments where everything is just rolling.

And then there is the moment when nothing works, when there's total system breakdown, and then it gets really interesting with failure. Usually that happens when you think you're better than you are, and you stop doing what made you successful in the first place. You're a little bit too full of yourself. It happened to me also.

And then there are so many questions you can ask: what do you fall back on? That's really the crisis that we have in our world right now. There's so much fear and so much uncertainty. The uncertainty was there before, but maybe not in the public awareness. And now everybody's aware: oh my God, it could be different tomorrow. What's going to happen tomorrow?

That's where I think some athletes who come from this kind of competitive [background] have a great advantage, if they develop those kinds of skills. Because dealing with crisis, and preparing for the moment that you cannot predict, really has to rely on the basics. Back to the basics.

When we played championship games, for example, when those big games came, there was a group of people who were suddenly afraid of losing that one big game. And then there's the other group, and they say: you know, we cannot lose what we don't have. We just keep going, we do what we do every day. We go back to the basics, we keep doing what we're doing.

And I have this great story in my head. Because we fell into that trap too, with the teams, when we didn't win finals. We were like: okay, today we're going to have the best game of our lives, and we're not going to get scored on. Let's not do this, let's not do this. We were too tight, and we didn't just enjoy the moment, and we lost, for example.

I have this story in my head from when I was watching, and I might be totally wrong, but that's the impression I had: Dominic Thiem, the tennis player, playing against Novak Djokovic in the final of the Australian Open a couple of years ago. He had not won a huge Grand Slam title back then, or a huge tournament. And he was dominating Djokovic, who I think was number one at that time. Obviously he has been number one most of the time in the last couple of years.

So he was dominating such a great player, with so much energy. And Djokovic did some unusual things for his kind of style. He lost his temper. Sometimes he did not seem concentrated. He was arguing a little bit. He was a little bit out of his soul, his body language was different. And the other guy was just doing things, he was taking all the big shots and he was winning. So he was dominating, but Djokovic stayed in it, even though he was on the verge of losing.

The longer the game went on, there were those crucial moments, and Dominic Thiem did not hit the winner. It was so close, one of the big shots. And that was the moment where I could feel, from my experience, that the one guy, the real champion who knew how it felt to win, kind of refocused and said: hey, what in God's name am I doing? Refocus, back to the basics. It was like two breaths, one little break. Not arguing anymore, not throwing anything, not making big moves, just playing basics at the highest level.

And the other guy started: okay, the next one, I have to hit the next one. I really want to hit the next one. He was taking risks, and he was failing again. I was like: oh no, he's not going to make it. He started to have this inner struggle. The one guy just relaxed and did the simple things, and the other guy started, in my opinion, to get afraid: I'm not going to win again, I don't want to lose this one.

Obviously we know how it turned out. The big champion won. He kept holding on. And the young champion, the future champion, was not there yet. He didn't have the basics to fall back on when he had to refocus. I think that's one of the secrets of how to get out of a crisis: what's your base level? To realize: hey, I'm out of line. Take a deep breath and refocus. That's, in a nutshell, the story of failure for me and how I approach it.

And I had some failures in my career, or some setbacks. Not failures, but real setbacks. For example, a big [injury] occurred when I was making a name for myself again in Germany. I played for the Kölner Haie, the Cologne Sharks. I came back from the States, and I wanted to start a big career again in Europe, and it was the perfect setting for me in Cologne. I loved the city, I loved the team, I loved the guys.

But then I got [injured] in Switzerland when we played the Spengler Cup, that famous tournament after Christmas. I had my left arm, my elbow, in a cast for six weeks, and an operation, and a little argument with the coach and with the sports director back then, because we made the decision that I had to have this operation. I trusted the doctors. So they were pissed at me, but I was out of the team. I couldn't practice with the team. I really had to push really, really hard for myself, for the comeback.

We had a good season. The team was winning, and we started the playoffs. I think we were leading after the regular season. I should call that statistics guy. And we lost in the first round. I just made it back into the lineup for the first round. So I made it back, I saved the season, I practiced, I worked my butt off to get back into the lineup, and we lost two games straight, first round, out. I had two great games myself, I scored two goals and had a couple of assists. But the season was a big failure for the whole team.

So I'm like: oh my God, what kind of season is that? That's going to break all the momentum. I didn't get a new contract with the Cologne Sharks. They kept me waiting. They changed a lot of players, and it was a big upset. I was really down: what's going to happen now with me? Where can I go?

And I ended up signing in Sweden. And Sweden, for me, was like: what do they want from me? That was the highest level. I had the highest respect for the Swedish, the Scandinavian and the Russian hockey. That's where I grew up, my idols were from Russia and from Sweden. And the best team there signs me up and calls me. I was not scared, but I was intimidated. I was supposed to be a goal scorer up there, and I got the role of goal scoring.

So, long story short: the reason why I had the best year of my career came from that injury that I had in December, and from thinking I'm going to kill my career now. But by working hard, really pushing, pushing, pushing, with the help of the other coaches. A big setback at the end of the year, and I ended up signing for this team. And they signed me only because they knew me from when I was 16, 17, 18, 19 years old, because they were watching me playing in Austria back then. Those were the coaches who had the impression back then, and they followed my career, they followed me for years.

And then that moment was there, when I got the chance to play for them. Big pressure: the first Austrian in that league, in that team. And I had the best year of my career. For the first time, I had the chance to practice for six months straight. I was strong as an ox. I was in the best shape of my life.

Usually you play so much, then you play the world championships, and you finish your season in the middle of May. For example, you have like two weeks break, and then the season starts again. There is no chance to recover. There's no chance to really take care of some injuries that pile up over the year. You just keep practicing, keep holding form. There were some years when I was exhausted after the season. I was a wreck, really. It was a long year, and then you start practicing again and you keep pushing. So no wonder guys get tired over the years, and that sometimes injuries occur when there is mental fatigue and then the body breaks down.

But this time I had a huge failure, a huge setback, a huge defeat, but I had the chance to build something for six months. And that foundation ignited the highlight part of my career. I took that momentum and built something for years. That's when I became this kind of winner again, in a different role in my team.

And then I had the next failure: having a terrible season, being really prepared, but nothing worked the whole year. I did not know how to break it for a long time. But by taking that step back again, changing my direction, I became a captain. I took the next stage in my career. And I was the leader of a team myself when we won a championship with the Vienna Capitals. That was a huge thing for that organization, winning after 43 years. And I played injured, and I really had to bring something to the table to hold the team together, to put the team together. So that was the next stage.

So every time something huge and bad happened in my career, I came back stronger because of it. And this kind of came [to me]: hey, I can make a system out of this. So no matter what happens in my life now, I live in the moment. I know what led me to this, what I put into it. And if something happens, I find a way to start over again, to recalibrate, so to speak, and to put the system to work: accepting that things turn out differently than you expect sometimes. But then you shift. You take what you learned from that lesson and you shift. Whatever happened, happened. Learn from it and move on.

Yeah, that's the way I see it. If I really think about it: if I had a company with the highest standards, and there are different roles in every company, some are bigger jobs than others, for example, but every little detail matters. You want to have the best person for the job. You want to have the best woman, the best guy, whether it's sound, whether it's video, whether it's accounting, whatever it is. You want to have the best possible person for your team.

There are lots of them, and it might be the same level that every other company has to bring on. But for this job in my company, I don't take just anybody, because anybody can do the job. I want to take the best possible person: who's got the basic skills to deliver something simple, really with pride and with quality, every day. That's the thing that separates winners and pros from amateurs, in my opinion.

Succeeding once is great. It's hard to achieve, and hats off to anybody who wins in anything. But bringing something every day on a certain level, and repeating and repeating: that's when I get goosebumps, when I see people delivering for 10, 15, 20 years in a high pressure, high performance environment. Because then you know: those are the people you have to talk to. What are they doing? Who is on their team?

If you talk to Sebastian, for example. I saw him at practice, beside me a little bit, when I was playing for Red Bull, in the Red Bull training center. He was a young boy, and I was with the hockey team. A very nice person, as I got to know him. I followed his career, I really liked this guy. Well, a person like this hires the best possible therapist, the best possible nutritionist for him, the best possible whoever, the best possible PR lady or guy, the best possible team for him. Anybody could [do it], but he wants to have the best.

That's what Magic Johnson said. I was part of a mastermind online some time ago, and he stepped on stage. He's a huge businessman. And he said: I got advice from a friend. I wanted to meet people and learn from them, and I said I need some help. And he gave me the telephone numbers of like 20, 30 guys who could be possible mentors in business, in finance, in different aspects, when he was still playing. So he called everybody, and he got to have lunch with two thirds of those high profile people, just because he asked. That's the first thing. Not: are they going to talk to me? No, he just asked: hey, do you have time for me? I would like to learn from your experience.

So they sat down, and he said seven or eight of them became his mentors. Because, you know what: run with the best, with the people you want to learn from. If you get advice, learn from those people who are already where you would like to be. Usually it goes the other way around: people get advice from people who didn't show up for themselves, who don't have that inside them.

So I love therapists, for example. As an athlete, I got a lot of therapy, and I loved those guys and girls who knew exactly how it felt, how the pain felt that I'm feeling in my back right now, when they started therapy, because they can relate. That was really important for me, and it kind of opened my eyes a little bit too. What kind of people are you surrounding yourself with? People that have pride, who know their role, who accept the role, and do even the little things with excellence, because that's what makes the difference at the end.

I had this key moment in my career when I was in Sweden. The first year, we won the championship in Sweden, and it was unbelievable for me. I scored the most goals in that season in Sweden, which was a great achievement for myself. We won the championship, but everybody was really working for each other. And at the end it was the guys who didn't get the most ice time during the year, those guys who just got a couple of shifts, who made a difference. Somebody gets hurt at the end, and they were ready to jump in, and they blocked some shots, and they did the little things that made a difference for us as a team.

In year two, as the reigning champions, we were so good. We had a great season again, and we came all the way to the finals, and we played against the Frölunda Indians. And we lost in game six against them in Frölunda. If I look back at the pictures and the footage from back then, they had what we had the year before: everybody together. Even the guys who didn't play a second were like they were on the ice themselves, the guy just filling up the water bottles or opening the door. It didn't matter.

And on our side of the bench, even though we were really close, there were some heads hanging, because they did not get the ice time they thought they deserved, because they didn't play on the first power play. And when somebody scored, they were all cheering, yes, and it was still great, but it was not with a full heart. So guess who won the championship? That's the little things. It's always the little things. Those were the key elements.

I still feel that in my body. When I talk about it, I get emotional and I feel it on my skin. And I can respect it so much when somebody else is creating this kind of atmosphere for teams, for people. I can respect my biggest opponent. I may hate his guts privately, I wouldn't go for a coffee with him or want to talk to him, but I can respect what kind of effort somebody puts in in order to be successful. I can respect that if there are the right values behind it. I know what it takes, in that field where I came from anyway. And I think that makes all the difference in the world.

Champions Mind Academy.

Well, Champions Mind. I use those terms from the sports world, champions mindset and the Champions Mind Academy. But a real champion for me is not a person who is doing sports. It could be anybody with a mindset of: how can I help? What can I do to influence things, taking my life into my own hands? Being a good father, being a good friend, being open to learning, being open to discussion, changing standpoints, listening to different perspectives and making up your own mind. That's a champions mindset for me. Being able to adapt, to contribute, but obviously also the willingness to perform, the willingness to bring the best out of you, not selling yourself short.

That's something that I use with my kids sometimes. I would love to help you believe in yourselves, work hard, take ownership and not sell yourselves short. And I tell you the reason why: because it's such a good feeling if you succeed in something, if you get better at something. That's how you gain self-confidence. Starting from a certain point where you suck. Everybody sucks in the beginning, it doesn't matter. The biggest stars, the best in the world in anything, start somewhere, and then they take steps of progression, and they develop this kind of feeling: I can do this, I'm good at it.

If you're lucky, you have an environment of people around you that push you: hey, yes, keep going, keep going, you can do it, you can do it. Or helping. Not everybody is that lucky. But this environment is at least as important as what you think in your own head, how you talk to yourself, what you're learning and what you initially have in yourself. Also what you get from the outside.

There are many of us, and especially the young generation needs a couple of things. There's unbelievable potential, that energy. I would like to call myself an investor. It sounds really good: I'm an investor right now, after my professional career as an athlete. I invest in people. I invest in talent. Igniting this kind of talent is the most beautiful thing: to see kids when they are learning something, and the kind of joy they develop when they succeed in something. Falling down, getting up, falling down, getting up, falling down. Not thinking: hey, I'm a loser, I can't do it the first try, I want to jump to step four already. No: I keep going, keep going and progressing.

So what if you have something that reinforces the positive things, reinforces the learning, reinforces all the values that you need to develop or to have in order to be successful? Yes, to reach your goals. It doesn't have anything to do with winning. It has to do with the basic why you do something. But at the same time, combine this with the practical things, with stuff that you can actually learn. Because talent is something that, and science tells us that, can be developed.

Yes, you inherit some kind of foundation for how to perform in different sports. For example, just the way my physique is, I'm probably not built to be a great [marathon runner]. But I'm a pretty muscular guy. I build muscle quickly. I can generate power with my muscle fibers really quickly. So my ratio of slow-twitch and fast-twitch muscle fibers is in favor of sports where I need to sprint, for example, to be really fast. So there's some science behind this. Obviously I use what is inherited, and combine it with the science, so I can produce something that gives me the edge in a competition, for example.

So there are techniques. Putting the soft factors together, and using techniques to learn something, to get better, to practice something, totally makes sense for me. In the area that I lived in for so many years, we practiced and analyzed everything. And now people are investing in skills training and nutrition and everything, everything, so much theory. But what is totally forgotten, and usually makes the difference, is the way you deal with pressure, the way you deal with somebody who doesn't like you, how to approach it and how to fit into the group, how to deal with the teacher who doesn't like you, with the unfair coach.

If I ask you: what are your values? What do you really stand for? How many people have to think hard for many minutes before they can give an honest answer? Because it's something you're not dealing with. That stuff usually doesn't have time and space in normal life. But at the end of the day, in pressure situations, it always comes down to knowing yourself, having this identity, having a set of values that you want to live by, having clear goals in order to find some kind of direction you want to go, building the kind of environment that you need and that supports you. That's what professionals do, and that's how professionals get successful.

So if we grow up and we don't have this kind of knowledge and this kind of environment, everything is left to chance. Sometimes it's successful, but many times people are frustrated, disappointed, questioning themselves, like myself in the middle of your life. I'm turning 47 in a couple of weeks. It's the perfect age for the old midlife crisis, where guys kind of reminisce about what happened in their life: what have I done so far?

And I made a conscious choice to take things into my own hands and not settle for less than I want to achieve. And that means: okay, let's go, let's build something, and start from day one. I want to get this knowledge. Who do I need? Asking the right questions: who am I? I had to do this the hard way, obviously, but I was ready for it. I had this environment growing up, this knowledge, and still had to start from zero. And many people fail, or are really hopeless at my age, when I look around: unhappy, not really leading happy lives, although they might be successful on the outside. On the inside it's a different story.

So what if we can give young people a chance to learn stuff, to practice stuff early on, those life skills that are going to be [needed]? I want to put all the effort I can into giving this to the next generation, with everything I have to offer, or everything you have to offer. If they ask you for help: hey Xerxes, would you jump in? I have this mentorship course, and I have this group of unbelievable young people. They would need your wisdom and your knowledge. Would you be willing to give it to them? For sure you would come and say: anything I can give. Because it feels so good to help somebody else.

That's the environment I want to create: this kind of championship team of young people that want to reach their potential and are willing to accept that it's going to be hard. It's going to be painful sometimes, it's not only going to be uphill, but start investing now. That's where my competition philosophy comes in: investing, investing, investing in yourself. It pays dividends.

And that's where the Champions Mind Academy comes from. It's a knowledge hub, really, for people who want to excel. I started working with young kids, and I'm starting to take in leaders who are already grown people with a lot of responsibility. Because there is this generation of leaders coming that say: hey, I'm open, I want to get better, I have to get better, I'm just stuck.

I just had a talk, and those are the people I'm really fascinated by: a guy from Holland, a very successful entrepreneur who sold one of his companies 20 years ago. Financially he was all set, but he was trying to be a mentor and building different companies. And he said: I have a problem right now. I'm 60, and all my peers are asking me: what the hell are you doing? You should be on your sailing boat, you should be enjoying the fruits of your life. You've worked hard, you've been successful, what are you doing? And he said: hey, I'm just starting. I'm 60 years old. I don't know how to deal with this age thing. I have to find a new environment of people, because I feel like I have so much to give. What an attitude, right? What an attitude.

So to sum it up from my perspective: the academy is really a place where people learn how to think like a champion, how to act like a champion, and lay out their whole life in a way, with a human heart, but with a competitiveness to do something. I'm a dreamer, but winning is fun, and life is not always fair. I think it's important that you also accept the negative things in life and that you're ready.

And once you're ready and you've trained, you have a definite choice you can make at one point. You can always choose which side you're on, and it should be a conscious decision to do the good things and the right things. If you do the right things constantly, good things will happen. You always have different perspectives, of course. But if it comes from the right place in yourself, it has a lot to do with awareness. And the Champions Mind Academy should be a place for people who want to learn, who want to explore where they can go.

So I started with this mentoring. It's not that I'm the teacher who teaches everything and you just sit there and receive knowledge. It's something where I share experience. I bring in experience from other professionals, from people who were successful in whatever way, who learn from their failures and tell their stories, so the young generation can make their own [mistakes]. The only shortcut is to get access to information from real life. Not only theory, but from real people who've been there and done that. And now you go and do it by yourself.

It's a little bit like Maria Montessori, when she said: help me to do it myself. That's what I started with my mentoring programs. It doesn't matter if you're a young athlete, or if you're not into sports. What we are talking about, what I'm trying to give, applies to everything, to every situation.

It's starting with a four-week program that we're offering to start with, but it continues with a monthly Champions Mind Academy club, the #FutureStars mentoring club, we call it. Because the champions mindset is something that we're going to learn and continue to practice all our lives. It never ends, it never ends.

I'm really looking forward to it. It's really exciting to me, a totally new field again. I've been doing mentoring sessions with young people from all over the world for two years now, and I've worked with hundreds of kids and players of all different ages, but in this kind of setup it's a new thing. So I'm like a rookie again. I love it. I love the competition. I love how it's going to be.

You said false beliefs. In my opinion, what I had to learn about myself is to question everything, where I came from. Why? Is everything I'm thinking true? What my parents were telling me, what the mayor was telling me when I grew up, all those institutions that I had a hundred percent trust in when I was growing up. That's just the way it is, that's how things are done in our society, in our culture. It turns out that many things were great, and many things were not as great and need to be changed.

So the only constant is really change, and being ready for change. I think that's something we really have to get into our heads and embrace as a positive, and not as a negative that brings fear and development for the worse to us. Change is just the nature of life. We're evolving, we are changing, and we should embrace this as positive. That's one thing that was really important for me to reconsider.

I really like that book by Vishen Lakhiani, The Code of the Extraordinary Mind, where he talks exactly about this stuff. Coming from a different religious background, from a different cultural background, but asking the same questions: does it really fit the way I want to live my life? Does it fit the society I want to live in right now? And then making a conscious choice: what kind of life am I choosing? What kind of friends am I choosing? What kind of discussions do I want to lead? I think that's really important. That's one thing.

And the second thing: I love to talk about leadership in my work. Leadership is being the leader of a company, being the leader of a group, setting a framework in which other people can be successful, so we can be successful as a group. That's really important to know too: the leader doesn't have to be the guy who knows everything. The leader doesn't have to be the guy who doesn't show any weakness, who is not vulnerable. The leader is the leader because of a natural ability to influence people, to have that vision, to be that person who can build trust, to have a certain role in a group. But just being a normal person with the same flaws and the same [qualities], and finding something together and collaborating with people. That's the leadership that I'm looking for, to change and to help build in businesses, for example.

But then there's the other side, something that was really painful for me to see many times, especially in kids, in young athletes: that kind of attitude. No judgment where it comes from, it's just the reality that a lot of times you see this kind of approach: sitting and watching. Okay, let's see. Okay, coach, make me good. Teacher, let's see how good this teacher is, what he's teaching me. Not that approach of: it's up to me to be good. What can I do? What can I influence?

Because in life sometimes, and again in sport: can I, as a normal player on a team, influence who is going to be my coach, whether he's going to like me, or whether his thinking fits perfectly with the way I like to play? I still have to fulfill a certain role on the team so we can be successful. It doesn't matter if it's a hundred percent perfect for me personally. I still have to deal with it. Otherwise, in the world I came from, I'm going to lose my job. I'm not going to win. I'm going to be that guy who gets pushed around, with people passing by because they're willing to suck it up when it gets hard, because they know it's going to be hard sometimes. And they are asking: what can I learn from this? I still have to do it. What can I learn? What kind of experience do I take away from that situation?

So when you bring this kind of attitude into your thinking, into the mindset of the people you're bringing into your team, you cannot lose. And that's missing a lot of times. This kind of: okay, let's see what they can bring so I can be good. It's not my responsibility, it's always somebody else's responsibility. This kind of attitude needs to be changed.

Oh my God, to be honest, I've never really thought about it that hard. Something that I'm playing with is: I want to be somebody who tried to get the best out of himself and was not afraid of taking the risk, and didn't find excuses why he didn't try, just because he was afraid of failing, for example. That's something for myself. And it's not about winning all the time. It's just that it's a great feeling, and there is so much potential in me. I believe in that, and I want to keep pushing.

But a big turning point in my life, for example in putting into perspective how important I was for myself, was when the kids came into my life. Obviously that was this immediate change. Okay: I would give my life in a second if I could save my kids. Any dad would usually say that, and any mother would say that. Once you have that little one in your hands and you look at it the first time, then you have that feeling, then you know. And that changed everything.

I talked about it with a friend of mine, about education and what we learn. We have to bring up our children, we have to teach them, educate them. Really, I think the biggest thing is to be a good role model, and to do things as well and as fairly and with as much fun as I can. To show my kids that you have choices, that it's up to you, and that you don't have to be like me. I'm an idiot in many ways. I was pretty good at some things, but I suck at other things, and so will you. But find something with passion and do it, make it a lifestyle.

That's something I would look back on, if they look at me one day and say: you know what, he had a great life. He enjoyed it. He did not look back too much. Let's celebrate his life. He showed us how to continue: to give something to other people, to take care of yourself, to treat your body right, to be a good person. Hey, what else can I ask for? If I am able to live that way and to get better at that, it doesn't matter what I do, I will be successful. I will have something to show for it, if that's important to the outside world. For sure: good things happen when you do good things.

Thank you. Exactly. Thank you very much for having me.